A Knight-Commander's Sin
by N'a qu'une Main
Summary: The day Greagoir met Melicierte Amell, as a child, he knew she was bound to do great things. He also knew she would bring turmoil to the Tower. But he could never have imagined that she would make him suffer so.


The day I met her had started like any other day, at least for a templar. Note for a new apprentice to pick up had arrived at the tower the day before, and I had set off early in the morning with another templar for Kirkwall. It was to be a long and tiresome trip and I was in a bad mood. I knew I was soon to be Knight-Commander, it was a matter of months at most, but I was sick of waiting and taking care of such troublesome tasks; there were more urgent and important things to do than bring back young mages to the tower, things that fitted more my abilities, more worthy of my time.

While crossing the Waking Sea, on the bridge of a small ship, I studied the letter that we had received. This time, the apprentice-to-be was a very young child, age six, a little lady named Melicierte Amell. She had frozen a bird and a servant had reported her to the Chantry. Since the Amell family was influent in Kirkwall, they had decided to send the child to the Circle of Ferelden, to be sure she would not receive any kind of special treatment. Unnecessary precaution I thought: mages never received any favours, nevermind where they came from.

I folded the letter and sighed. The kids were never really hard to deal with, they usually came with the templars without a fuss, too scared to protest, but the parents were always troublesome, nobles even more. They would either prepare loads of packages we could not take with us, cry, or not even watch their child leave, so ashamed they were to have a son or a daughter cursed by the Maker. It had always made me uncomfortable; I do not hate mages, they scare me and I am always cautious with them, but to take someone away from their home and their family is a painful event to witness. I just hoped that day's case would go smoothly.

I could not have been less prepared to what was to come and how my life was to change.

When we finally arrived at the Amell Mansion, the day light was just beginning to fade. Just thinking about sleeping on the boat back home annoyed me.

"Let's get this over with," I said to my fellow templar, and we went straight to the mansion.

I did not have the time to knock, the door bust open and a woman, barely dressed, appeared in front of me, her eyes red and her hair a mess.

"Melicierte disappeared! My little girl is missing!"

Lady Amell would not calm down. I had to wait for her husband and the templar sent by the local Chantry to keep an eye on the child to receive an explanation.

"I stood by her door all night, I didn't think she'd have the courage to climb down from her window. It's on the third floor you know. We searched the all house and the gardens, we looked under every bed, inside every closet, the usual hiding places, but we can't find her. People are looking for her in the city, but if she managed to get past the guards, she could already be gone."

A sob interrupted the man. Lady Amell, as I feared, started to cry again. She was inconsolable, she looked like a mad woman, still in her nightgown, with no makeup or jewellery. I surprised myself thinking that she was beautiful, even in her sorrow, and that if her daughter was as good-looking as her there would be several dramas in our usually peaceful tower in a few years time.

"Would you please take me to her room?" I asked, reminding myself it was not the time for such useless thoughts. "It's not the first time a child has ran away, we might find clues on her whereabouts."

"Of course. Please, follow me," replied Lady Amell in a broken voice.

"Will you be alright my dear?" asked her husband, his brows furrowed in genuine concern.

She reassured him and took me upstairs. I had never seen a room like Melicierte's. There were flowers everywhere, huge bouquets of many different sorts, coloring the room in an almost violent way, on the bed table, the desk, the vanity, at the window... There were petals on the floor, like a carpet, and even some on the bed. The flowers' perfume was so strong I felt a bit dizy, but it was not a bad feeling. I bet this heavy scent helped the young child to fall asleep. At the feet of the bed were piles of books. They were about plants, insects, birds and other animals.

"I take it she likes nature."

"It would be impossible to count the hours she spent in that garden, she loves being outside," replied the lady with a soft smile. She had no idea how miserable her precious daughter would feel once locked-up.

There was an empty golden bird cage on the desk.

"She had found a hurt nightingale and kept it. It's the bird she..."

She stopped talking and apologized. There was nothing in the desk's drawers appart poorly drawn sketches of incredible flowers and animals. I went to the vanity and opened the first drawer. There were so many necklaces, rings, bracelets and earrings, but all broken and rusty.

"I don't know why she keeps those things. She won't tell me and gets angry if I try to take them away."

There was nothing but a single chesnut in the second drawer. Lady Amell informed me Melicierte always stole from the kitchen and had quite a stash. She had taken everything, meanning she did not intend on coming back. I nearly smiled, thinking of the silly child who thought a handful of nuts and berries would be sufficient to live.

I opened the third and last drawer, but it was empty. I thought that was odd. Melicierte seemed to have a full and rich world of her own, it was suspicious. After further inspection, I discovered the bottom could be removed. This time, I could not stop myself from smiling: there was a small box inside. I had discovered the child's secrets. Inside, there was a golden ribbon, a small knife, the skull of some animal (probably a squirrel), a book a child her age was not supposed to read, a shiny ring with a beautiful sapphire, and a hand drawn map. Just like the sketches in her desk, it was poorly drawn, but all the information I needed was on it. There was Kirkwall, the sea, her house, several more "important" locations, and a lake, with a huge tree with a red cross next to it.

"Lady Amell, I know where your daughter is. Would you please explain to me how to get to that lake?"

Minutes later, I was on my way. It was not that far, but it was undoubtedly an incredible journey for a six year-old-girl. I had instructed my fellow templar to make sure everything was ready for when I would be back and had managed to convince Lady Amell to stay at the estate. I must admit, I was intrigued by the girl, I wanted to judge her with my own eyes, not those of her mother or my biaised templar.

It was more a pond than a lake. Surely it seemed bigger to Melicierte. A bit away from the shore was the tree she had drawn, and indeed it was a huge tree, she had not exagerated this time. I could not have encircled the trunk if I had tried, large as it was. At the base of it, hastily hidden by bushes, there was an entrance. That was her hidding place.

"Melicierte Amell! My name's Greagoir. Everybody's looking for you, come out now!"

There was no answer.

"Don't make me repeat myself."

Still nothing. I sighed, then removed the bushes. I knelt so I could see inside, but the only thing I saw was her foot, right before it crushed my nose. I was so surprised I lost balance and fell on my arse. There she was.

I had been right: even though she was still very young, I knew the moment I saw her that she would be a beauty growing up. Long, dark hair, big eyes, so blue they were almost grey, porcelain, white skin ... Her face was one of a doll. But Maker she looked angry at that time. She was crouching, ready to kick me again if I were to try anything, and she was looking at me directly, defiant, and there was such fury in her eyes. She looked a bit like a cat ready to attack. Never had I seen such a temper in a child her age. I was impressed. Impressed, but I was getting tired, I wanted to leave soon, and I did not have time for games.

She tried to bit me when I dragged her out of the tree. I had to carry her on my shoulder, because she tried to run away after kicking my leg, and still she resisted. At first, she pulled at my hair and at my ear. I swear, given enough time, she would have ripped it off! But I rearranged her, and all she could do was bang angrily with her little fists on my armour. I was going deaf, she was screaming at the top of her lungs. Never had an apprentice resisted so much, even the older ones. She was like a wild animal. When we arrived at the estate, it was like she was possessed, she struggled even more. It was time to go.

"Don't you want to say goodbye?" I asked.

She did not hear me.

"Suit yourself. Lady Amell, Lord Amell, do you have anything you wish to say?"

The woman started crying once again. She could not tear her eyes away from her daughter, but she looked so pained, she could not utter a single word. Her husband placed a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. He was right: what could they say? I nodded, made a gesture towards my fellow templar meaning we were leaving, and turned away from the house. The screams and kicking became even more violent, and when she saw her mother, Melicierte screamed:

"Mother ! Don't let them take me away! Do something! I don't want to! Please! Please Mother! I hate you! I hate you too Father! No! I want to stay with you! I'll be a good girl, I swear!" Let me down you! Mother!"

I will never forget that moment, I will never forget her voice. It was as if something was being ripped out from her chest, she suffered, both physically and mentally. Everything was being taken away from her, and she knew she was to be locked up for a very long time. I could only try to imagine her pain, I was helpless to her misery, I could just watch. It was raw, she did not bother to hide anything. To this day, it is my most heartwrenching memory.

I remember thinking that she would hate me - as I was the one taking her away - which was odd because I had never cared before.

Everybody stared at us when we passed through Kirkwall, and everybody recognized the young Amell. There was to be gossip, and I felt bad for the family.

When we arrived at the docks, the night had fallen, and Melicierte had still not calm down. I still carried her, I knew she would try to run if I let her down.

"You're not going to carry her all the way back to the tower, are you?" asked the other templar.

"What am I supposed to do, tie her up?"

"That might be the solution..."

My glare made him stutter something about the ship before disappearing.

"Idiot," I whispered.

I had to try to say something. I doubted it would work, but I could not let her exhaust herself that way. I put her down, and immediately she tried to run, but I managed to grab her wrist.

"Calm down! I don't want to hurt you!"

She threw her hand at me and I did not react quickly enough, she scratched me.

"Why you brat..."

I still do not know what came over me, but I picked her up, and throw her in the water. For the first time in an hour, she stopped screaming. She looked down, as if she was slowly admitting that she was drenched to the bone, then looked up, at me, in square disbelief. I wasted no time.

"I know it's not fair. I know you're hurt. But there's nothing we can do about it. Don't let your magic destroy your life since it's going to be so important for you. Don't let it be a weakness, let it be a strength. Learn how to master it so it will never get in your way again. That's the best solution. Become strong, so you won't cry again. It is not a curse, it's a gift given by the Maker Himself, it will help you become strong. Become someone, whoever you want to be. You are the only real master of your destiny, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's your life, your magic; it's special, so be special."

The little girl was crying silently, but her fierce expression remained. She was looking at me straight in the eyes, defying me, and neither one of us was ready to back down. There was so many emotions behind those pale blue eyes: sorrow, hatred, confusion, acceptance... She cried a bit more, still sitting in the water, and then, just like that, the crying stopped, and I knew she had accepted her fate. She slowly rose and walked towards the shore, without breaking eye contact. After one last glare, she went past me to her package and took out a new dress from it, a lovely dress she would not be allowed to keep.

"Turn around, I don't want you to see me," she" commanded, her voice raspy from all her screaming.

I obeyed, and not a minute later she sat at my feet, looking at the city.

"When are we leaving?"

"As soon as the other templar comes back."

She nodded and continued to stare at Kirkwall. We were leaving the docks ten minutes later.

Even after we set sails, she kept staring at the city she grew in. She stopped only when it was too far away to be seen. When her eyes fell on me, I was holding the box with all her secrets.

"Don't you want this back?"

She sat next to me and opened it. First, she showed me the little skull.

"I found that near the tree. I don't know why I took it, I thought it was scary."

Then, she took out the little book.

"My nanny read that sometimes, and I demanded her to read it to me. She refused, so I stole it. But I don't understand what it's about."

The knife.

"This too I stole. From Father. He was really sad when he couldn't find it. I think he knew it was me, but he never asked me and I never said anything."

The ring.

"That was Mother's. She gave it to me, I swear. She said that the day it would fit, I would be a real lady, like her."

Finally, the ribbon.

"Mother's friend had a really ugly dress. The top was held by that ribbon. I removed it. People still talk about that party you know."

She put everything back in the little box, rose, and then threw it in the sea. She looked at me then, and it was like she tested me, challenged me to say something. But I remained quiet, doing nothing but look right back.

"Goodnight, Greagoir."

She took her package as a pillow and lay down to sleep.

I could not believe she was only six. I could not believe one had such a temper at such a young age, that one could show so much passion, so much rage. I was intrigued by Melicierte, and I just knew she was bound to do great things in her life. She would not settle for boring mage with a boring life, with no real talent. I also knew she was going to cause lots of trouble in the tower.

We arrived the next morning. The Knight-Commander and the First Enchanter gave her the welcome speech, they gave her her apprentice dress, another apprentice took her on a tour of the tower, and I was back at my duties.

Two weeks later, I was the new Knight-Commander. Melicierte was the last child I ever picked up.

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**Thank you for reading.**  
**I really hope you enjoyed this first chapter. There are three more to come, with a lemon on the final chapter.**  
**As English is not my first language, please feel free to point out any mistakes.**  
**Thanks again :)**


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